Parenting a child battling childhood cancer: A tantrum on treatment

Parenting is hard. Very hard. But parenting a child battling cancer? Well, that’s one for the books as they like to say. You will be going through a mountain of emotions and while you’re doing that, you child is going through their own natural changes as well as emotions and behaviors that were artificially exacerbated by treatment and drugs. Here are some tips to help you get through these rough times.

#1. Remember to take deep breaths. Honestly, I used to hate when people would tell me this one but one day while my child’s tantrum was through the roof and I was at the end of my rope, I noticed that I could hardly breathe. I then realized that I was holding my breathe the whole time. Holding your breathe is a part of self regulation and it will heal in regulating your mood as well as your heart rate. Not to mention it’s kinda hard to parent while you’re angry with your emotions all over the place.

#2. If you can, Remove yourself from the situation for a bit. Sometimes you have to walk away and yes that means from your own children. There is a lot going on right now and you may not be able to regulate your own emotions as your child escalates. So if possible and someone is around to tag you out. Walk away and return when you feel more regulated.

#3 Consider behavioral therapy for you both or the entire family. Sometimes, you’re gonna need an extra set of hands and skills on deck. Consider asking your child’s team about behavioral therapy. You and your child can learn new coping skills, distractions and interactive tools to best decrease unwanted behaviors.

#4 Try a good distraction

Sometimes you just have to change the scenery, the pace, and the context or content. Find a good distraction for your child to take their mind off what they are having a melt down over. Always pack and travel with their favorite toys, snacks, activities, stuffed animal or favorite app or program on your phone and only use it for times for needed distraction. Remember, if you overuse the tools in your box, it will eventually become totally useless later on.

#5 Remember it’s not their fault. Like so many others, your child is no different from having to endure cancer treatments and loads of drugs on their little brains. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that their behaviors is just a product of their environment and journey through cancer and that they don’t intend to behavior this way. These behaviors may be very hard on you and the rest of the family but your poor child most of the time have no control over what is happening and that is truly sad. Have some grace for them, remember the journey and remember self care for everyone in the family is paramount in maintaining healthy relations with each other.